In the grand scheme of things

A while ago I had an “ah-ha” moment that I think is important to share:

I’ve had all sorts of body image stuff throughout my life and I’ve been one of those people who tried all the eating disorders. The language that I think is appropriate here is that, beginning at a really young age, I’ve had a really disordered relationship with food and my body.

Because of that, I got really into “exercising.” Because #calories.

Then later I got into the fitness world but by this time, I was doing a lot of healing work with my relationship with food, exercise, and my body.

For a long time, I was sharing and telling my story because it still held a ton of power for me - and i know a ton of women who can relate. But through that, I was holding onto the fact that, growing up, my dad called me “fat kid.” Growing up, I was the biggest kid in my ballet classes. Growing up, some asshat child called me fugly when i showed him a picture of me and my dog. And growing up, I took all of that and made it true for myself (like a ton of other things: cue my sensitivity to the word stubborn)

But then I had a huge realization: in the grand scheme of things, I’m a thin white woman in the “fitness industry.” I may not be one of those skinny skinny gals on the gram selling you green juice... but I’ve identified as being fat and feeling like I understand what it’s like to exist in the world in a fat body, but I don’t. I never have. Larger than some? Yep. Smaller than most? 100%

It’s really important for us to dig deep into our personal narratives.. especially those of us who do talk about #bodypositivity (shoutout to black women for starting, championing, and leading that conversation) or #bodyneutrality or #bodylove. It’s important that we understand why a lot of woman won’t see me and assume “she gets it.” Because I can’t because I haven’t lived that. Body shamed? I have countless stories. Not hired, trusted, “comes in my size in the store,” heard, accommodated for, seen, because of the size (or color) of my body? Never

Sincerely, a thin white woman who has experienced a lot of body image issues.

I recognize her. I am not my body. Click for the full post.

I recognize her. I am not my body. Click for the full post.

Mother's Day Bail Out

Lean Into Yourself, and Take Care of Her